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About Varied / Student Member Jordan, Mack, Hawk, whatever.Male/United States Groups :iconreptilelovers: ReptileLovers
Scales galore!
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I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life right now. There are so many directions I could go, and so many things to weigh against each other. I've reached a point where I don't know exactly what I want. I have a general idea, but there are many lanes in the same highway, and no telling where they might branch off from each other, or if I'd be able to switch after I pick one. At this critical time I don't want to make a decision that I'm going to regret next year, or ten years from now. But I know that I do have decisions to make, and that I'm not devoting nearly enough of my energy to the decision-making process. Questions have emerged that I don't have the answer to. Some of them I might never know the answers to.

I love my family more than anything. I went through the typical teenage period of loathing my parents and constantly arguing with my brother, but now spending time with them is one of my favorite things in the world. My grandparents are collectively the nicest people I know. My mom's mother and her husband live in the woods in a small town between college and home, and I love visiting them for a weekend here and there. It's so peaceful to be away from all the business of life, just to relax in their lodge-styled home and watch out the window as the sun rises and sets through the trees. To let one of their cats lay in my lap while the dog lays at my feet, and my grandpa watches history programs until he goes to bed at 7 p.m. Grandma always makes me pancakes with blueberries for breakfast, fried catfish for dinner and apple pie or peach turnovers for dessert. Sometimes she'll bake me a loaf of potato bread to take back to school.

At college I often struggle to manage my time and resources. I have too many interests and not enough to devote to all of them. My priorities, or at least what should be my priorities, tend to suffer. But I keep going. I have good friends here, and I've been wrong to doubt their friendship in the past. If anything ruins my friendships here, it will most likely be me. I owe a lot to my work station on campus right now. I've really found a home at the College Press. Never before would I have considered working on a press to be fun, but everyone in the shop is like one big family. I have awesome co-workers, an admirable supervisor and a great boss. The Graphic Arts professor is one of my favorites, too. You never know what might come out of his mouth, and even if he struggles to show it sometimes, he really appreciates us. He gives me a pat on the back whenever he walks by, and I do my best to keep him entertained with a cheesy joke now and then.

In regard to relationships, I really don't know what I want, or what I should want, or what I should be looking for. I have never been in a relationship that lasted more than three months. In every local relationship I've been in, I've been on the receiving end of the breakup. In every long-distance relationship I've tried, I've ended it because of complications. I feel like I'm in limbo right now. I know that if I date someone else in college, one of two things will happen: either it will be over by the time we graduate, or we will end up getting married. Because of that, it's impossible to know if I've found the person who is worth all of my time and effort. There have been too many times when I thought I found that person, but I was only lying to myself. I trust people far too much for my own good. On the other hand, I doubt myself far too much for my own good.

I don't know what else to say. I know this is a bit impromptu but there's just been so much on my mind. I needed to get some of it out. I hope I at least find inspiration to work on something soon, be it a story or a piece of art. At the moment I have no direction, and the fact that there are so many directions I could take is somewhat overwhelming. I just wish someone would come along and help me make those decisions. I have priorites, sort of. My family, my friends, my dignity. But I don't know what should come after that, or in what order. Best just to lay low for a while until the clouds of indecision blow over, I suppose. They won't linger forever, and neither will I.

"I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger, Just traveling through this world of woe; But there's no sickness, no toil or danger, In that fair land to which I go."

Also, DeviantArt's new branding is still shite. Stolen logos and unnecessarily cropped type will never be okay.

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LieutenantHawk
Jordan, Mack, Hawk, whatever.
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
Just so you don't have to read too much, I'll sum myself up in three words.

Artist. Knight. Lizard.

That's all, folks!

Okay, I'll add a couple of specifics just because they're necessary.

Yes, I take commissions. No, I don't do requests, except for close friends. I may consider an art trade. Send me a note if you are interested in a commission or a trade.

I am a student of graphic arts and history. My artistic preference is a combination of traditional and digital media. My historical preference is the Middle Ages, though I'm quite fond of history in general.

"Helfen, Wehren, Heilen - Help, Defend, Heal" -Motto of the Teutonic Knights
Interests

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Comments


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:iconraubritter:
Raubritter Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
welcome
Reply
:iconkavalin:
Kavalin Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
much welcome, I like medieval themes in art and you seem to spend a lot of time detailing your drawings
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconleenzuydgeest:
LeenZuydgeest Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Looking at your work I see why you fav'd my drwawing. Thanks!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconalexyo63:
AlexYo63 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Hello ^^
I never noticed you before, I discovered your art today, and all I can say is that it is wonderful !!
Every detail, everything is great in your drawings :) 
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(1 Reply)
:iconlipsterleo:
LipsterLeo Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, thanks for joining UnderRated Anthros! Scalies are cool, and we don't see many of them. Looking forward to more from you. :)
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(1 Reply)
:icon0laffson:
0laffson Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you a bunch for the faves mate!!La la la la I'm really glad you liked my last works!
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(1 Reply)
:iconlorien077:
Lorien077 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Professional General Artist
Hi again Lieutenanthawk!  Thanks for faving 'Starry Night'.  Anyway I hope school is going well for you. :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconfallenbronzedangel:
FallenBronzedAngel Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I LOVE YOUR WEBCAM XD
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(1 Reply)
:iconjonathanskits:
JonathanSkits Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hey
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(1 Reply)
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